September 27, 2011

"Thank You"

I can’t believe Hodgepodge is next week!  I’ve been planning and working for months on my booth.  The pictures in this post feature some of the things I’ve been working on that haven’t made it to my Etsy shop just yet.  Last week I started to get nervous about the fair but yesterday, another feeling overcame me as I worked on a purse (a “Little Women” clutch): gratitude.

"The Wizard of Oz" Book Clutch

I was recently diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Disease.  It’s fairly common and you probably know one or two people affected with it.  It’s a thyroid disease—not life-threatening but certainly life-altering.  My symptoms started after I had my son four years ago.  Early last year, I finally found out that my illness was due in part to my thyroid.  I’ve been on medication for a year and a half.  Those familiar with thyroid disease know that it is a rollercoaster.  A couple of months ago my worst symptoms returned: endless fatigue, aches, chills, sensitivity to heat and cold, dizziness, muscle weakness, difficulty concentrating.  My doctor upped my medication but I have yet to feel any results (it takes weeks, sometimes even months for a patient to feel the effects of thyroid medication).  I also just did a ton of lab work to see if there is something else going on.  Along with all that, I have endometriosis and have been suffering from extreme pain despite laparoscopic surgery I had to treat it four months ago.  The other week, I visited my OBGYN to find a cure for the pain.  He told me that I’m headed for a hysterectomy.  I know it’s inevitable and in a way it wasn’t a surprise.  It’s just yet another wild turn in the bumpy road my life has been on for the past 4-5 years.  I don't have the surgery set yet and I'm hoping and praying it can wait until after Christmas.  You know . . . one of those old fashioned family Christmases with my uterus still intact?

Nancy Drew Book Clutch

I could be mad and I am at times.  I’ve certainly shed plenty of tears of pain and disappointment and I’m sure there will be more to come.  This morning, my mom and I discussed my health, particularly the impending surgery . . . the big "H."  My mom started to cry.  I think she's a little sad she won't meet her grandchild quota.  That, and she said she feels bad for me that I have to live with these problems.  I thought about it for a minute and told her it could be so much worse.  I could have a life-threatening disease.  Even worse, my child could be sick.  But he’s not—he’s super healthy and wonderful.  I have a loving husband who supports me in literally everything I do.  Yes, I have a lot of problems in my life . . . but I have so many more things to be thankful for!

Edgar Allan Poe Book Purse

The other night as I was researching my condition online, I found an open “letter” a woman had written about how her thyroid has destroyed her life.  She described her symptoms and how it affected every facet of her life negatively.  The letter really bothered (and depressed!) me.  While I am empathic to her plight, I can’t help but wonder . . . isn’t there anything uplifting you could’ve shared with us?  We’re all tired and feel like a sad sack of quivering bones.  Hashimoto's SUCKS.  What else is new? 

Poe and Wizard of Oz Charm Bracelets

I was actually feeling an excess of sad sacky-ness yesterday as I toiled on the clutch.  The night before was filled with chills and night sweats so I was exhausted.  My arms and legs were shaky and sore and I felt like someone was repeatedly stabbing me in the stomach.  I pushed forward and put my little glue gun to work. 

Book Page Jewelry
Thank you, I thought.  Thank you for the work I have to do.  Thank you for the ideas to do these projects and the ability to do them.  Thank you for something to work for.  Otherwise, I might be rotting in bed, with nothing to think about but the endless discomfort.  Thank you for scissors, old books and pink polka dot fabric.  Thank you for an adorable imp of a son who keeps me busy and gives me a reason to get out of bed.  Otherwise, I wouldn’t leave it.  Thank you for the forgiving best friend I’m blessed to call my husband.  Without him, I would spend my days wallowing in guilt for missing out on so many things.  He gives me perspective and the support I need without resentment. 

Thank you for everything.

“The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings!” 
Henry Ward Beecher


Heidi said...

Beautiful, Autumn. :)

Lindsey said...

Well said. I'm so glad to know you, you're amazing.

Tina said...

You're awesome. Love ya!

Page Clothier/A Velvet Leaf said...

Your creations are fabulous- and wonderful post too!