August 8, 2010

My RoPatt Regret(sy)

This is the last straw.

I see you smoldering at me. How dare you invade my town after all the grief you've caused me?

Tweens and housewives crowded the humid streets of Chickamauga (a small town a few miles south of here) last week hoping to get a glimpse of him filming “Water for Elephants” with Reese Witherspoon (who actually has talent and an Oscar but no love). A family friend (who will remain nameless for fear of embarrassing them . . . Which they should be!) staked out the Read House where he’s staying.

After my close call with Regretsy this week, the last thing I want to hear about is him.

For those not yet initiated, Regretsy (their clever tag line: “Where DIY meets WTF” . . . WARNING: some of the content on this site is MATURE--I didn't provide a link because some very adult content is on the homepage right now) is a site that catalogues the sad, lame, bizarre or just plain disturbing listings on Etsy. People then buy these pathetic wares as a trophy of mockery. I had heard of it but had never actually looked at it. Last week I randomly clicked on the site and started to peruse the listings. Like many who visit the site, I laughed my head off for about 20 minutes. There are some truly hilarious things on there (and, as I mentioned, a lot of it is explicit and that stuff is not marked! I learned the hard way by clicking on a link that lead me to embroidered gay porn. Uh, yeah. Just take my word for it and don't visit the site!). Then, as I continued to browse the “SOLD” list, I noticed a disturbing pattern. The majority of these listings were crafts dedicated to who else, but Robert Pattinson.

My laughter was abruptly cut off. In reference to one seller’s declaration, “Vampires love the planet, too,” the polite fellow who writes the commentary on Regretsy said, “If you really loved the planet, you and your fellow artisans would stop crapping out unlicensed Twilight crafts for 5 minutes.”

Ouch. My mind immediately jumped to my unlicensed Twilight craft.

Gulp. Not only did my purse feature a not-so-great print of RoPatt, but my butt is featured prominently in the picture (my hubby took the pic and likes it for that reason . . . in fact, he joked about making it his computer wallpaper. It probably wasn't a joke . . . I think if I said okay, it'd be on there right now!). Two very good reasons to put my “Eclipse” purse on Regretsy . . . one very good reason to dump this listing.

Blame it on seller tenacity. I wanted a sale. In July’s Storque (Etsy’s blog) post, the “merchandising desk” suggested the following:

“With the recent June 30th release of the latest in the Twilight series we expect to see a resurgence in themes surrounding vampires, werewolves, dark and forbidden love stories, legends, and supernatural subject matter . . . If you'd like to stay engaged and involved with the approaching merchandising themes, use them in your own artistic voice as you add to your shop. This can be translated in your listings, photos, shop announcements, descriptions, tags, titles, sales promotions and more. We're excited to see your creative interpretations!”

So is Regretsy, apparently.

In the end, I can blame no one but myself for my misguided attempt at cashing in on the “Twilight” craze. Even though I was excited to try the block printing, the purse didn’t feel as fun to me. I get ridiculously excited when I pair a book to the “right” fabric. I feel a slight hesitation when I list a new book purse because, secretly, I want it for myself. Right now I’m having trouble focusing on this blog post because my mind keeps wandering to how cute that Agatha Christie book is going to look with that houndstooth fabric.

I didn’t feel any of those things with my “Eclipse” purse. I guess the biggest indicator that it was a mistake was that, frankly, I would be caught dead carrying that purse. Pun intended. Why should I expect anyone else to? My mom said, “Don’t worry about what you think other people will like. Do what you like and people will respond to it.” Good words, Mamacita. I was so wrong to assume that I could throw together a “Twilight” purse and someone would want it. I don’t understand “Twilight” so how could I sell to someone who loves it?

So, from this time forth, I pledge to only make purses I would want for myself. In the end, that’s who’s going to get them if I can’t sell them! I’ve been making only purses I’m excited about and I’m having more fun than ever. Not to mention, I’ve sold three, so that’s something!

As for Mr. Pattinson, I’ve transplanted the handles and button to a more worthy recipient.

Movie pick: My movie pick for this post isn’t technically a movie, but a TV series . . . “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”

In order to atone for my sin against vampires in making this awful purse, I feel I must watch Seasons 1-7. Okay, so maybe I just want an excuse to watch the Buffster (I actually have all the seasons on DVD and have watched them over and over and over . . . ). I’m a Buffy fanatic. That’s probably a big part of the reason I have no love for “Twilight.” It’s hard to root for Edward and Bella after you’ve seen the absolute anguish Angel and Buffy go through in Season 2. You think a vampire-human romance is doomed? Try a vampire-vampire slayer romance. They’ve sworn to kill each other! Now that’s drama . . . and it lends itself to some pretty awesome fight scenes.

To end on a happy note, the lovely Heidi spotlighted BiblioBags on her amazing blog, Vacuuming in High Heels and Pearls. Go check it out and be sure to read some older posts too . . . it's like reading a home decor/craft/everything fabulous magazine without the subscription. Thanks again, Heidi!


RochelleHaddad said...

I'm so proud of you. *sniff

Heidi said...

I wondered where that bag went when I was making my blog post. LOL

Lindsey said...

Ha, ha! You are a character madam!
True to yourself in craftiness and life!